That must have been a bit of a shock, I'm sure. It is difficult enough to move forward when we are torturing ourselves w/images we put in our minds, but that becomes much worse when we see the real thing.
I'm sorry you had to see that, but all you can do is process the discomfort and move forward. Easier said than done.
As for BF's test, the one that "involved a long poky stick up a very small hole" I've had that one and it isn't comfortable. In fact, I'm pretty sure you would have had a difficult time of splitting my butt cheeks w/dental floss when that cotton swab was being administered. Painful memories I'm glad are in the past.
