P.S. NOTICE that when you backed off, H stepped up. There is a certain amount of work that is needed to maintain an R with the amount of space that H is comfortable with. If you do all that work, he doesn't have to do any. You quit doing all that work and left room for him to meaningfully participate in maintaining the R. And he did.
Perhaps if you make room for him to meaningfully participate in your M as an ADULT and as a real PARTNER worthy of respect, he'll do that too
