My main issue is that I have studied and read thousands upon thousands of these types of threads...
My belief is that you are on somewhat of a panic. This usually clouds out the real truth. I don't take what a person posts on here as the gospel of what the situation really really is in reality.
In your case. You have been together for 23 years. Suddenly he has someone else and now you are wanting to blame yourself for not doing this or not doing that. I am sure that you weren't perfect, but I do believe that you are re-writing some of the history of this relationship as much as he is doing right now...
When people re-write, they usually do it to get people to agree with their true motives. In your case maybe because you WANT to pursue because you are in a state of panic. In his case he is re-writing because he has another person he is giving himself to.
So, for you to tell me that you were with him for 23 years and that he wants out all of the sudden and blames it on lack of attention or whatever, seems to be a stretch here...
If you want to pursue.. then pursue. I really can't understand why an independent woman would think that acting dependent is growth and moving in the right direction.
You need to see if your history writing is really what you say it is or if you are possibly feeling so bad and in panic that you are willing to make this look like all your fault to get others to help you to pursue.
