If you're asking me "Is it anti-DB to ML with your spouse when they are in walkaway mode?", then the answer is "No, it's not." MWD even wrote an article on this, and she's generally in favor of keeping up the sexual connection as a way to remain close and build intimacy.
I'm not so sure, but it's an intensely personal decision -- like the whether-or-not-to-wear-the-wedding-ring one, and I would never try to tell someone else what to do.
The best advice I've seen on here on the subject falls along the lines of "How does it make YOU feel, afterward?" "Are you able to stay detached, and continue your stated strategies and tactics if you ML with your husband, or does it tend to always throw you off your game?" "Do you feel used and like a doormat when you do, or are you able to enjoy it and take an "Oh, it's just sex -- have some fun!" attitude about it?"
Hope that helps. My only advice would be FOR GOD'S SAKES, USE PROTECTION if you do.
That's what I was thinking it was just sex and if I was going to be with anyone, I want to be with my husband. Can't wear the wedding ring, D13 was playing with it and dropped it down the drain, but I still wear my engagement ring.
I asked H is he has been with anyone and he said no and that he was going crazy too because it has been so long. I believe him on that part so no protection needed.
I just don't know where to go from here. It was so wierd, this morning driving D13 to school and myself to work a song came on the radio that makes me think of him and she was going to change it and I told her no, that I love that song and she said OMG so does daddy. It's a country song I believe it's called "I need you". About being 1:00 in the morning and needing the other person even though you said you wouldn't call.
I asked H is he has been with anyone and he said no and that he was going crazy too because it has been so long. I believe him on that part so no protection needed.
Please don't be naive. He's given you no reason to believe him. He went months without contacting you, as recently as this summer, and he's done this to you before 12 years ago.
I believe this is the same advice your OB/GYN would give you. If you doubt it, ask her/him.
If your husband HAS been with anyone else, HE WILL LIE TO YOU ABOUT IT. That's not a sufficient foundation upon which to risk your own medical health, GF. If you think I'm being dramatic, there are other threads on these very forums about people who contracted STDs -- and worse -- from their WASs.
That's what I was thinking it was just sex and if I was going to be with anyone, I want to be with my husband.
doesn't jibe with this:
Quote:
It was so wierd, this morning driving D13 to school and myself to work a song came on the radio that makes me think of him and she was going to change it and I told her no, that I love that song and she said OMG so does daddy. It's a country song I believe it's called "I need you". About being 1:00 in the morning and needing the other person even though you said you wouldn't call.
This tells me that you're NOT able to see it as "just sex." There's nothing wrong with that, but if you can't stay detached when you ML to him, and if you're going to try to mind-read more into it from his POV (he probably was just horny, and wanted you), then I would advise against doing this again.
