Being sick makes everything seem worse. Give yourself a break...that may be 50% of why you feel the way you do now.
Ok -- the endless to do lists. The tyrrany of the urgent. In Steven Covey's terms, the pressing but not terribly important things.
Try a desire list. I'm not saying get rid of your to do list. How about focusing for a while on what you want/need? I personally find that really hard to do. I also think it's a good barometer for depression. I've been surprised that a little exercize and a healthy diet has made me more of a window shopper. I know this sounds mundane, but Hoosier, a person on DB, noted, at that this stage I am the mission. The small things are not so small. Small acts of taking care of myself have tended to energize me in the direction of reaching out to others, being a better steward of my appearance, and even takin a bite out of that to do list. Your desire for a whole and flourishing life often starts with desires for small things: a new pair of socks, a new pair of shoes, not feeling winded when climbing a flight of stairs, getting rid of knee pain, etc.
Maybe re-sparking your desire will help. Desire first, to-do lists second.
Definiely work with your counselor on the future and positive change. This will probably entail de-connstucting the negative thought patterns absorbed from childhood.
