Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

I was nearly overcome with the urge to simply run my index finger down the back of her calf, under her heel, and along the arch of her foot. Powerful sensation -- half-listening to The Boy's teacher, I could nearly feel what it (would have) felt like. Wow...

You nailed it with this description SP. The "urge to connect" isn't a direct sex drive, but it is definitely sexual. This morning the urge was from knowing that she was in the house and in another room and also warm and half asleep - I had to fight off the urge to join her in her bed for a bit before we both had to get up.

As Wifey said, I have no desire to have her do something she doesn't want to do, or to be there if I am not desired. None at all. That's what kept me out of the room.

When I focus on reality and continuously remind myself of the things she has said and the ways she has acted, then I am detached - no control, just let her go do whatever she wants to do.

It's when things seem too "normal" and I start fantasizing on the "what if's" - mentally "running my finger over her calf" - that I lose my detachment.

SP, you ended with

Fortunately we're at each other's throats again, so that feeling has passed, LOL.

Well, we're not fighting. Except for our love life / sex life, there is nothing in our M that we are fighting about - and as long as I stay detached that stays a cold war.