I am So LOST

[2gthrButApart]

Hi DBers,

I've been a member here for a while, in Oct 2008 my H announced he wants a D. Here's my original post. Original Post

So here I am, 13 months after the B, thisngs seems to be going ok. Back in June he said he wanted to give us another try. Nothing happened the whole summer. Two months ago, he said ok, let's really give us one more try. So we decided to do the Mort Fertel Marriage Fitness Program.

Things were going well with it, we were doing the work book, following along, and after listening to week 2's CD, he quit. Said he can't take it anymore, said listening to the CD makes him feel sick inside, makes him feel like his skin is crawling.

He's still home, we haven't tried a thing, we've just been "living". The past few wkes I've been really GALing. Going out with GF's. Making plans before he asks me to do something with him, not cancelling my plans when he proposes a new plan for us to do togehter. All 180's for me.

This Saturday things were going great. We had company over for a huge PPV fight, he was touchy, flirty, joking and playful.

Yesterday we get into an argument, b/c his phone buzzed and as I'm passing him the phone, I see it's a girl from another country he goes to to visit his father, and the text reads "I'm extremely upset, you haven't called me or anything, bye!"
So I call the number, and ask her why she's texting him, she says it was the wrong #....Huge coincedence if you ask me, wrong number from a country he goes to 2-4x a yr.
I ask him who she is, he denies knowing her, same as she had. Then tells me it's none of my concern anyway b/c we're not together.

We had a huge argument, he made disrespectful comments about me. I said fine, I've been nice our entire 13 yrs, now I'm done being nice. He said "Ok, let's just forget about today, come give me a hug" he then grabs me and throws me on top of him, and starts kissing me. He slept very close to me the whole night, even hugged me a few times, then this morning had an attitude.

He was in bed & asked for a glass of water, I said can I get a hug first? he said F**k that, I don't need the water. So I told him, "You'd rather die of thirst than to hug me?" and he said yes.

When I got to work this morning, he sends me a TM saying it's time for us to set up a plan, he really has to go. He's been drinking too much & is going to end up killing himself drinking if he stays living with me. I asked him if we can talk to night b/c I'm at work & I really can't do this at work. He said there's nothing for us to talk about regarding us. Regarding the girls, yes, but not regarding us. There's nothing left for us to talk about, I have no say, staying together is not an option. He then says It's time to move on, I know I am and I plan on finding myself someone new one day. (Maybe he told me this to hurt me?)

I said I told you I can't do this at work, we'll talk tonight, that's enough. He said fine.

So now I'm completely lost, and confused and have absolutely no idea what to do at all.

Any advice??