You seem to be carefully building and phrasing your entire post to elicit the type of answer you already want to get, and that is "yes, you should be 'gray' (not even sure what that is, to be honest with you) -- go to the party together, be The Nice Guy," etc., etc.
This jumped out of your post at me:
Quote:
Even now, as we lead up to the day she moves out, she is still very gray about the future of our marriage, the type of realtionship we will have after she moves etc.
and this:
Quote:
WAW still doesn't seem to think that our separation must lead to divorce. She literally is living one day at a time and to quote her "if we wind up together, then we do - if we wind up divorced, then we do". At this point (and it could change) she hasn't ruled out us dating during the separation - or even sex.
Why is SHE calling all the shots here, about what will and will not be? These are the "crumbs" I was referring to earlier -- you seem content with whatever crumb she throws at you.
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Yes, she is cake eating to some extent, but she is also just being her genuine self.
Food for thought:
Is "her genuine self" what BeTheMan needs in order to have a healthy, happy marital relationship?
I see you supplicating, and I don't think that's healthy for your OWN self-esteem, and I also don't think it's going to give her what SHE needs, and that is -- as Kettricken posted to you above -- to own her own consequences.
