Having a rough morning - strong connection yearnings in what I know to be my witching hour - 6-7 am. Got up and went to the gym just to get out of there.
Yesterday was just too d@mn normal - early morning family breakfast at a diner, church (together) errunds, ouitdoor activities, cubscouts, dinner and TV with Mrs. T after the boys were in bed.
It was hard to head off to our separate bedrooms.(Although I do enjoy the privacy and sleep better) This is the kind of day when I forget what is in her mind and begin living in my own fantasy reality. (Only to get snapped back).
Fighting to stay detached.
You know what helped me to finally detach, Thinker? I realized that I didn't want my H to do what I wanted him to do. I wanted him to freely choose to be with me, or not. To freely be around, conversing with me, having fun, caring about me, or not. I didn't want him to fake it.
I deserve to be loved and cared for. I'm not in control and neither is he. He can choose to be with me, I can choose to be with him - OR NOT! It has to be natural, it has to be what we both want.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
