Can our marriage work out?

[TrentC]

Detachment is so much harder for me and so I chose the path of separation cos I know I will not be able to detach and continue to bear the suffering of my husband still having the affairs.

If he wants to win you back -- and you're willing to let him try -- then he needs to agree to total transparency. If he is really as ready to work on this as you make it sound, this should be no problem.

You get unfettered access to any and all email accounts and can check his phone (if he texts) with no warning. You get to open the cellphone bill.

If he objects, point out that he brought this on himself by choosing to lie and be deceptive. He needs to earn your trust back if you are going to reconcile.