It has been an interesting week. My H seems to have taken to heart that I don't want to push him to do anything he doesn't want to do. He also understood that I have just as much free will to choose as he does. He seemed to relax and drop his walls more than usual. Good!
He called and asked me to dinner on Thursday. We had a good meal and good conversation. Saturday he asked me to a movie. (We saw 2012. Don't believe any of the bad reviews, it was an awesome movie.) After the movie I got some nice kisses in his car before he left. I told him I loved him and then asked him if he had any problem with that. He smiled and said no, because I love you, too. After that I went home and had a cold shower. (No lie!)Good, Good.
Just an aside here, unlike the DB script, I have never stopped saying I love you. While acknowledging how he felt, I also have acknowledged how I felt. He feelings changed, but mine have not. And, he understands that with love there is acceptance of who he is and no expectations. Good for you (ILYs)
Today I went to church and hung out at home until 3, then went to my MIL's house. H was just finishing up with changing his oil and came over to greet me. I had three kisses in a row and a nice hug. I said I was going in to see Mom and he said he was just cleaning up and would be right in.Good, Good, Good (three cold showers)?
We had coffee and then later, pizza and wings. After dinner we sat and chatted at the kitchen table while his parents were watching tv. I asked if he would be staying over any time soon. He said maybe on Friday. I'd recorded the country music awards show for us to watch and so he knew why I asked about staying over. I would love to say there was another reason, but it is what it is.Oh, say it! You're on a roll. Make it on a roll in the hay!
When I was leaving I got up close and he held me (it was more than a hug) and kissed me soft and sweet. Oh man, start your engines, rockets at night, quake in my shoes! The man knew what he was doing to me and he just smiled and kissed me again.
After I left I sent him a text that I was sorry if he felt pushed and that I couldn't help reacting to him. He said it wasn't pushing and I'm sorry. I told him he had nothing to apologize for. He even called to say goodnight to me before bed.
The good days are definitely outweighing the bad lately.
I had a good talking to myself on the way home not to get over-excited. I'm just so in love with that man. I have a small oval disk I carry in my pocket that says patience. I have to be patient with myself, as well as my H right now. We aren't quite to piecing and I refuse to get ahead of myself.
God is conducting the orchestra and the more I relax and get out of his way the sweeter the music gets. Man, are things looking up. I'm so glad for you.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
