"I don't want to keep hurting you, so I need to get on with my plan to S/D because we can't continue this way - it isn't good for our kids and not fair to you (or me)" Doing a little mind reading, I think she looks at it like she set this ball in motion and she needs to see it through because that is what she decided had to happen,e tc etc.
Something has broken through the ice to make her see that what she has been doing (hanging around in limboland, continuing to talk to OM, etc) is wrong and not fair to me. She has mentioned a couple of times over the past few weeks that she doesn't want to hurt me anymore. She told my mother "I am not a good person". It tells me that she is carrying around a lot of guilt. Her guilt is a big obstacle to get over if she is going to decide to R some day. It is an unavoidable phase she would need to pass through, even though I would not try to throw salt in that wound. So, MIL was right: Guilt, Guilt, Guilt. Does she go to IC?
I also know she is aggressively looking at rental properties online, and I found a blank rental applicaiton in her car from a property mgmt company. " Left" there for you to see it?
so when she goes it will not be a shock if it happens but then I go into defense mode, responding to any legal actions she takes. So, don't go into "defense mode. See an L now. Have you?
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
