Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

just another post...gotta love this "blog" opportunity...I had a thought today (well more than 1):
what if WH was telling the truth about why he married me? he said he fears that it was b/c he was lonely after his divorce.

It's my own stupid fault for marrying him then. I mean I have been wondering all these years if meeting him 6 months after his D would bite me in the butt one day...because it was the ONLY bad thing about him.

His ex cheated on him and left him for a guy she met from work and then married the guy. But last winter, 4 years later, she starts emailing my WH sying she was stupid to leave him; she's unhappy and now has 2 kids with this guy.

The funny thing is that we sure have a lot in common for someone he settled for just to rid himself of loneliness!

The other funny thing is that he has now personally known 2 people who have cheated on their spouses, divorced them to be with the OP, and then came crawling back (or tried) and regretted ever leaving. I wonder if that's why he hasn't served me with D paperwork yet?

He's also never told me he wants me to move on, or find someone for myself.

So, to sum it up, maybe he truly is confused, truly thought that he made a mistake marrying me, but only had these thoughts AFTER MEETING OW!!! But because of these other true life stories I referred to, he is aware that he could be making the biggest mistake of his life so he is stalling on the D.

Besides, 8 months after practically living with OW it must be dawning on him that his fantasy girl is actually a manipulative*, selfish* bitch who fakes it in bed*. (LOL) and that, like many men, he initially confused LUST for love. As reality sets in, he is discovering that what he felt/feels for me is the real deal...the best kind of love that is based on shared history, intimacy and has a lifetime to grow deeper and richer.

*manipulative b/c she used sex and sob stories to lure him and helped him justify why they should pursue a relationship (the timing was off but they were supposed to meet! barf)

*selfish (besides the obvious) but also because she doesn't support him seeing his son as much as he does
*faking it in bed (???just a guess b/c these type of women who use sex to feel control over men ALWAYS FAKE THE Os WHILE MAKING PORNSTAR NOISES!!!!!!I bet you a million bucks)

But you know what? If he ends up wanting this D and her,I feel sorry for him b/c it will pain him to see me happy with another man who is awesome with our son and he will deeply regret it. Not being angry here, just saying it honestly.I know I will be okay. Our son won't know any different.

I hang on b/c I also know my WH is one of a kind, and that is why I chose to continue dating him despite his recent divorce. Deep down he knows I, too, am one of a kind and that's why ultimately he won't divorce me!!