You're just hurting right now. I still go through bouts of it. Less these days, but sometimes I swear it lies in wait.
Maybe you spoiled her. What would you differently? How have you started to take care of yourself?
No, it isn't fair, life just isn't. You can only work your way through the hurt. There aren't any short cuts (not that work).
I wouldn't have told S to do that if only b/c he is the one that see's her reaction. It puts him in a place he shouldn't be IMO.
There isn't anything he or you or anybody can do to make her see anything other than what she does. There won't be an aha moment b/c of anything anybody else says or does.
