Hahaha, I just could not stop an image of a solemn dog mouthing: "Do or not do, there is no try".
Whatever the case, you sound much better this last week, rocked. There are few easy or simple decisions in sitches. Separating or not, you have to let the consequences of what H is doing come home to roost with him, I think that's essentially what CG is saying. You think he's scared now, wait till it really starts to dawn on him.
OK Deep you are going to have to fill me in on that reference of the solemn dog....movie character??
Yes, you and CG are correct about that. Just had a good long chat with my sister too about the same thing. The decisions I make from this point on I have to make for ME. The kids factor in to a huge extent, of course, but ultimately I have to take care of ME so I can take care of them.
BTW, for anyone interested... H got woken up this a.m. to a good blasting from me that went on for a good 40 min. I don't know what happened... I was the first one up in the house, making coffee, tidying kitchen, putting in a load of laundry, and started to think about the lies.... next thing I know I am telling him he better wake up and he better listen. Let me tell you folks, that he did! I got a whole lot off my chest and felt damn good. He listened, apologized, listened, apologized some more. I then said I couldn't be around him for ahwile and busied myself around the house. Well, wouldn't you know the kitchen got scrubbed by H like he never has done before in 19 years of marriage and I was then invited on a long walk with the dogs. That was actually a very productive time and we had some good conversations about boundaries I am setting, how much I can tolerate, things he is still confused about and trying to sort out, etc. After that, he helped me make supper (something he never does) and we sat down with the kids to eat (which he hardly has done in months) and H asked the kids all kinds of questions about school, friends, etc. (as he has been so checked out of their lives he had no idea). H also brought up some fun family memories with the kids and we had some good laughs together. H went to play hockey tonight. This has typically been a time he would go to see OW after his game, but hugged me when he left and said he would be coming right home after game. We'll see... not holding my breath.
But...let's just say Rocked is not taking any more sh*^. And, H clearly knows it now. Oh.. forgot to mention how I left packed his suitcase and left it on front step and locked H out the other night when he went to have a "follow up" conversation with OW when she told him she is starting to see someone else.
Message sent and received.
I am exhausted but feeling the strength in me growing.
I don't know what happened... I was the first one up in the house, making coffee, tidying kitchen, putting in a load of laundry, and started to think about the lies.... next thing I know I am telling him he better wake up and he better listen. Let me tell you folks, that he did! 
I got a whole lot off my chest and felt damn good. He listened, apologized, listened, apologized some more. I then said I couldn't be around him for ahwile and busied myself around the house. Well, wouldn't you know the kitchen got scrubbed by H like he never has done before in 19 years of marriage and I was then invited on a long walk with the dogs. That was actually a very productive time and we had some good conversations about boundaries I am setting, how much I can tolerate, things he is still confused about and trying to sort out, etc. After that, he helped me make supper (something he never does) and we sat down with the kids to eat (which he hardly has done in months) and H asked the kids all kinds of questions about school, friends, etc. (as he has been so checked out of their lives he had no idea). H also brought up some fun family memories with the kids and we had some good laughs together.
