Of course it would be great to have a 2nd chance at a relationship with the X, my D's mom.
What did I do to cause the X leave? Excellent question. What did I do or did I not do to make her want to leave...???
Sometimes I think I know, but it all appears to be somewhat of a guess. Never a single item of cause. I was working too much. I am in the reserves, work and was rehabbing a couple of houses when the X was pregnant. After the birth of D, I still had way too much on my plate, but did the best I could to manage it all.
The X may have had some postpardom depression and needed me around. I should have been there more for her. I was trying to fit everything in and trying to take care of her as well. Whenever I had to leave for any reason while X was needing someone to be there, I had my mom or her mom come over to be with her. Never just left her alone. Looking back I should have been there and should have been able to talk with x more about how I felt about her. I guess I let her down in that regard.
Instead of understanding what I had going on and talking calmly to me, the X prob felt like I did not care and lashed out at me and saying some unloving stuff. Looking back I think it was all bc she was hurt, but I took it as she was being very unloving to me too.
I kind of pulled back and withdrew. She said she was going to sell the condo we were in. I thought she would cool off after a little while and we could manage things and discuss things a bit more. I did not want to argue with her and she went with it and it sold very quickly W/n a month or so. Before we knew it, it was sold and we were out of there. She told me two wks after we moved out we were through.
Our D was only six months old. I tried to see her as much as they would allow. Her family made me stay in their house with them to visit my D. All along I felt very unwanted in there. They would ignore you, act like they did not hear you talking, talk around you. They would ostracise you for laying around on the floor while playing with my infant daughter. When they finally did talk to you, they made you feel like crap. It was a verbally abusive environment. They did what they could to try and bring you down and do what they wanted.
X mentioned in counseling that I put one of the houses I was working on before my family. So I failed to make the X feel like I cared enough while we were together (IMO). After we physically split she has been very unlogical and unreasonable since. We have been in the courts and seems to have been a battle all along. The X has been extremely verbally abusive the entire time.
