Ah K, I'm sorry he feels he can do no right. Men dont take it well when we point out what they are not doing, they feel like they are failing if we 'critiscise', however fairly you do it. I think someone said to go reread some of the books we read in the early days and it does seem to be like DBing101 again!!
What was someone here saying, reward the good stuff (I loved it when you did X, or, I liked you calling yesterday etc etc) but ignore the bad stuff?? Easier said than done I guess. Are you seeing him tonight though??
xxx
By ignoring the behavior, I meant withdraw. Be quiet, not chatty, not affectionate, go grey. When he talks with you, is affectionate, etc, then you reward that with talk, affection, attention. I didn't mean to look the other way when he does something wrong.
It is certainly appropriate that you got everything out there, Kalni. Rome wasn't built in a day and piecing is a process. Maybe he needs to understand that it doesn't just go back to how it was, it has to be rebuilt over time. I certainly think he is making an effort. Reward the effort and more will follow.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
