I can't remember; have you and your wife had sex at all recently? If so, that's something you may want to let OM know, as she probably told him that she no longer MLs to you.
No can do. In our state that negates the potential A and means that any legal advantage that may exist goes away. Would be a very expensive mistake. Funny thing is that early on I gave her several opportunities, but she never took me up on it. Too bad for her. Now, I can't. Under any circumstances unless I am 100% sure our mariage is back and healed.
ME 41, Her 41 M 18.5 years T 19.5 years s - 12, 10 Bomb 7/12/09 Inhouse Seperation 7/13/09 - 10/1/09 She moved out 10/1/09 - present
I understand, and yes, you should defer to your atty's advice on this. But can't you BLUFF it to OM, by creating a contemporaneous communication with your atty and, say, another 3rd party letting them KNOW it's a bluff? e.g.:
(e-mail to atty, cc'ing another trusted friend and a web-based e-mail account):
"Today I decided to make OM think that W and I have had sex recently, in a last-ditch effort to try to save my marriage. Even though we haven't ML since (date), and of course I CAN'T even do that because -- as you've advised me, it would indicated a legal acceptance on my part of her affair -- I felt like it might drive a wedge between them if he THOUGHT that I had, and I do still want to try to save my marriage if I can."
well, this evening, after avoiding 24 phone calls 4 texts and 4 vmails, she finally caught one of my Sons and told him it was an emergency to talk to me. then, she went into "its not what you think' speech" Rather than let it go, I basically gave her the ROBX speech. I took no prisoners. It was hard, and I am very tired now. I didnt like telling her that "Motel LBS" was closed, but the time had come. Of course, legally, i cannot keep her out. But now she knows I am done. Finsihsed being treating like crap, like a doormat. I am emotinoally spent and looking forwardto sleep and excercise tomorrow. taking to sons to FL on Saturday for a week. Then my Baptism. I will not let her ruin any of it.
Today I sat in our city park and watch lovers of all types (and i mean all) show their lovee to eachother. that is what i want. That is what SSGA deserves. That is what my children deserve. Not a WAS who doesnt want to be here.
Iwantittowork, thank you. I am. It happy to be t this point. I had held out hope , but catching them really did me in. I did not prove anything I didn't already know, but helped my to not just drop the rope, but to shread it.
I can't what happens from here. I think she files, j respond with a shot over the bow, then we get down to business and SE if she stays or goes. I fine if she goes. The real trouble is if she stays. Then what to do. A bridge to cross another day.
Thanks for the kind words and checking in.
ME 41, Her 41 M 18.5 years T 19.5 years s - 12, 10 Bomb 7/12/09 Inhouse Seperation 7/13/09 - 10/1/09 She moved out 10/1/09 - present
How in the heck could you stomach watching all those couples in the park? GAG! I can't even watch TV right now because of all the disgusting jewelry commercials. You're a very strong man!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
well, this evening, after avoiding 24 phone calls 4 texts and 4 vmails,
You did a great job!
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she finally caught one of my Sons and told him it was an emergency to talk to me. then, she went into "its not what you think' speech"
Uh huh. Her emergency, not yours.
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Rather than let it go, I basically gave her the ROBX speech.
I'm glad you've finally started standing up for yourself. This is the beginning of her getting respect for you again. If you go for D this will help you.
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I didnt like telling her that "Motel LBS" was closed, but the time had come.
Yes, it had.
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Of course, legally, i cannot keep her out.
Yeah, I know that, you know that but... let her figure that out for herself. It's time she starts to accept some responsibility for her actions.
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But now she knows I am done.
And hopefully so is her affair with OM. Only then can you start really DB'ing. (I know you don't want to hear that, but it seems that's how it works.)
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Finsihsed being treating like crap, like a doormat.
Thank God. This is the attitude to have. Now you no longer FEAR her or her angry outbursts. You have regained control.
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I am emotinoally spent and looking forwardto sleep and excercise tomorrow.
I hope you have a GOOD night's rest. You deserve it. Tomorrow is another day. A great one!
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
