Changing Man

[Gardener]

Wifey! Hi!

Whew! It was an absolute marathon to get caught up, but I did it.

Thank you for taking all that time to do so. I recently did it for SpyBunny and it is enlightening and exhausting.

The C that said your wife was sexually abused is part of this wave of C's out there that look for and of course find abuse in nearly every sitch.

How sadly, immorally true.

Frankly, if what you were doing was abuse, then I am sick and twisted for thinking fondly back to something similar that I giggled and pushed back for myself. (And would pay good money to have again.) : )

Very funny! And true for us all.

Your W is seeking reinforcements and "telling her story" to make herself look good and to help her stay angry enough to go through with the D. I seriously doubt that her gaslighted version of the visit is remotely correct. More likely, SHE was upset that you came and invaded HER visit.

What exactly does this mean (I never figured it out)? This is probably it. Exactly. You're right!

Now to that man-cave - there is no reason you have to have it spartan or bare. Live simply, yes, but a man of heart and passion such as yourself should make a rich, inviting, and personal environment for yourself. Go out thrifting or to auctions. Find furniture or art that reflects your taste.

I hear ya. I did mention treasures. But I do like simple.

Good for you for asking someone out. Keep doing that. Just take it slow and don't expect another person to be the cure for what ails you.

i agree.

IMHO - the lady you ask out should be of the highest caliber, because you deserve it.

She is. Ssshhh! I asked Gypsy out Though I don't think she knows it yet. Go read the last several posts on her "Butterflies..." thread over on Surviving the Big D. It's all kinda funny, actually. You'll have to read back a couple of pages.SSsshhh...
And I agree with the rest of your post, too re: mediator.

Serenity, dear - I loved the long verse you posted. It was so appropriate. Gardener has handled himself with Grace and his W is such a fool. An angry, perhaps damaged fool, but a fool all the same.

Were I in Connecticut, I would love to have the next dance.

Just say the word!
Thank you, Wifey. Always good to hear from ya! I mean it!