So I had the date from hell last night. Lord I hate this, I hate being out there again.

I signed up for one of those dating services (which I am regretting) and met who I thought was a nice guy. Instead, as soon as dinner was finished, he was asking me to go back to his place. Ummm.... HELL NO!!! I said I would like to get to know you a little better before we do that, and he said well we can get to know each other better at my place!!!

Needless to say, I ended the date pretty quickly.

I don't think I am ready for this. I know I am not supposed to listen to the RL friends because they don't get it, but is it okay for me to not be ready to date? I mean, it has been over two years, but my heart is not in the whole dating thing.

I am terrified that I will never be ready, and that I will be alone forever. And yet I would rather be alone forever than end up with a total creep.

Am I normal for not being ready yet? Or do I need a lobotomy?

Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..