WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

I hear ya. She's realized I'm at a different place on Thurs when I called out her, her attorney and my attorney to just get these deals/agreements done as I've had enough. I pretty much laid it on the table where if we can't reach agreement and it goes to court and I will lay out everything out in the open (she's still hiding the fact that she's cheated on me before she filed for divorce - her attorney thinks it started when she moved out). Her attorney tried to take a strong position saying his client was afraid, but I didn't balk/blink at all.

She still doesn't know how much I know and have.

I called her later, about having dinner with the kids that nite, and at the end I reminded her that I will not have any problems telling everyone that she did the same thing that she and her family hated her dad to her family - cheated and left. It took her 15+ years before she would even talk to him. I floated out there to her how do you think our boys would feel about it.

Even today, when my boys called her to ask to stay overnite tonite, she asked to talk to me and then tried the route of how I wasn't being as nice as she was. I just cut her off as I didn't want to hear it and didn't want to get into it since the kids were in the room. I then told her that I'm not going to just go back to our old 50/50 arrangement as it doesn't work for me.

Frankly, right now it's about protecting my family. That's me and my boys. She's gotta deal with her own problems as she is the one who caused them, although I know she will NEVER see it that way. I saw that was her attitude on Thurs. All along she said she was trying to fair, but the reality was that she was going to max out whatever the formula for child and spousal support was going to come up with. I'm going to do the same. Not out of spite, but just to preserve our family home (she left the house so I'm staying in our home) as long as possible. In the hopes of finding a job before I have to let the bank take it.

I'm also going to make sure I have every other weekend free so that I can continue to get a life. I started to in NY and made some good friends. They are only 2-3 hours aways so I want to make sure I can keep in touch with them.

Plus this will get her a real taste of post-D reality. I was too nice prior to finding out the truth. I had taken the boys every weekend with the hopes she would be miss being at home with the family on the weekends. Boy was I wrong. Plus, financially, I gave her everything she asked for, and more. Whenever she needed something I was there. That all stopped when I found out the truth. The crazy part, was that she tried to ask for help afterwards and I politely declined. Since then, she keeps throwing that back at me. I laugh it off but blew up last Thurs by politely telling her that I had really wanted to tell her to ask the guy she cheated on me with for help instead (she can't since he dumped her after she moved out and he christian her new apt) but didn't since it would be mean. What I would say was that I wasn't comfortable doing that.

I'm pissed they eliminated my position just after 3 months, particularly since my severence from my last job would have carried me into next year. Now I have nothing. I'm not too bitter as I had "learned" so much since I started in NY. I learned the truth and seriously would have doubted if I ever would have if I didn't work so far away and wound up buying the laptop to skype with my boys (that's how I found out the truth, whe she used the laptop for her personal nonsense). Plus, the distance and time away during the week really forced me into getting a life and I rediscovered what makes me happy and how much life has to offer me.

So, even though it cost me 6 weeks of severence, what I've learned is priceless.....

As my cousin said to me when he talked with me Friday, it seems like the old me is back. The take no prisoner guy who fought for everything in life. Right now, she is messing with my family. No one messes with my family, she knows that from back when she was part of it. It's now just the three of us, me and my two boys, and I've had enough of the BS. It's time to end the game.