Mass has a child support guideline since 1/1/2009 that's pretty rigid as I understand it..
Currently everything is based on pay differences, and according to both attorneys since the pay scale is so disparate between her/me that I also will have to pay alimony, at least for a period of time.
They don't bother to even look at current liabilities. STBXW and I decided to invest in some properties to build, and since I have the income, they and the mortgages are in my name. Currently they are just a drain on finances, no money coming in, and essentially upside down in value.
Guess what? In court she is saying that she had no say in that decision, and it is all mine to deal with. At least the judge said to her lawyer, "Well, if there was equity in them currently, you would be asking for a share of that wouldn't you?"
I would have never gotten into them without her support, she went to all the meetings with partners, builders, real estate professional and when I balked a bit on them in private discussion with her, she told me "We'll be fine, it will work out in the end."
In any event, I may wind up having to default on those mortgages and take the credit hit so that I can pay her the child support and alimony.
Like I found out in mediation. I am the only one at financial risk here, her name is not on anything but the marital home deed. I have to pay for the marital home through the temporary support order, She'll have to 'write the check' so to speak but the support figure is higher than the mortgages/utilities combined, and that doesn't include her weekly salary, and previous marraige child support.
I was the only one at risk emotionally as well, as she was moving on and looking to date.
I can change none of it, I just don't know what to do next.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
So, in 3-6 months, I'll likely have properties going to foreclosure, and/or I'll need to file for bankruptcy, and this state is going to be part in parcel for sanctioning it.
My STBXW is going to be living for free in the house that I worked and provided for our family, and will be taking at least half of my take home net pay on a weekly basis to add to her weekly pay and previous marriage child support.
Her 'lifestyle' will have been impacted exactly 0 percent due to this 'divorce' and the new laws in MA that went into effect 1/1/2009.
Somehow I am supposed to be 'ok' with this for the next 16 years..
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
Yes, this state has adopted CS until 23, and supposed to 'force' me to pay for her college as well, as I currently understand it.
I am putting the best face I can, and my d8 told me today that she wanted to stay here tomorrow, so I can take that to mean she does like being here.
I also know I have to 'act as if' when around my STBXW. Why give her the extra satisfaction of knowing she beat me, and after bringing nothing to the relationship financially, she walks with it all.
I need to take some kind of satisfaction that with all her 'freedom' talk and wanting to be 'alone', that she can't live without me supporting her..
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
PS, I am just additionally venting here, so I don't make the dumb mistake of blowing up at my STBXW and calling her names that are running through my head that would make a truck driver blush.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
PS, I am just additionally venting here, so I don't make the dumb mistake of blowing up at my STBXW and calling her names that are running through my head that would make a truck driver blush.
Naturally!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
