Not sure which way to go anymore

[TooLateForMe]

You shouldn't think about reconciling until he owns up to the affair/living situation. If he's still b.s.ing you about it, then no honesty can come from him re: his feelings about you. I would make him aware that you will likely file soon. Not a direct confrontation, but he needs to know that you're not waiting around pining for him.

As it is, he knows he's still got you as an option. Cut that option out of the picture. His tune may change if he loses his backup.

Seriously deal w/ your co-dependency. It sounds like this is the root of your waiting around for him to change his mind. If he gets booted from his apt and shows up at your doorstep, would you take him in? It doesn't sound like he's willing to do any real work, so don't wait around. Look for PROOF that he's changing and until you see that, keep him at arm's length.