IMO it isn't a bad thing for him to be at home. That doesn't mean it isn't the harder thing. Harder for both of you.
Detaching was much harder for me when my H was here. Yoyu could make the arguement that it was still much earlier on in this too. So, who knows what might have happened had he stayed here. He didn't.
I know you think he is being selfish and I won't argue that point. What I have come to understand though is just home much my H hurts. In some cases I think the MLC or even WAS sees their actions as a natural reaction to their spouses having left them emotionally. Not saying you did, just saying it's something I see.
As far as having the right to be happy, sure we all deserve that. How we get there also deserves alot of careful thought and consideration when we have families. I think for alot they really feel they have tried everything. Does the LBS see it that way? Not usually. Maybe b/c we didn't really hear them as they tried in whatever manner is theirs to tell us what was wrong.
I know you are just venting. I'm feeling very introspective lately. That usually has me looking at things through different lenses.
I hope you feel better and I know that even with things going well overall it's easy to go where you have.
