And. I believe, when you find her, don't even pursue her too hard. They're so used to that. Act somewhat interested but a bit indifferent. That often makes them wonder WTF and do a bit of pursuing themselves just to find out what makes you tick and why you aren't in full-blown pursuit like all the other men who approach her.
Gardener, summoning up 20-year old techniques here that he hasn't used - or thought about - in eons. But I remember 'em working!.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
OK. So another down day feeling lonely about myself and situation. I know X is with OM and it doesn't feel all that great. I started on the DB forums to be able to work it out with X bc I felt that was the best thing to do. So many mixed emotions.
By dating others and tuning out the X I feel like I am doing as bad as she does. She doesn't even care what goes on with D when she is with me. Makes me wonder how much she cares when D is with her.
I would just like to be with someone grown enough to know good choices in life. X is so selfsih and thinks about herself first. That is one of the main reasons we are here IMO.
It just makes me sad to be in this situation I think no matter which way we go if we are not able to make amends. At least that is where I am now.
Whenever I talk to ppl about our situation, it is so pittyful. they think i am crazy to even want to work things out.
Is there anybody that has gone the distance out there that could provide some encouragment and maybe provide some reassurance in "maybe" this is doable. I feel very hopeless...
By dating others and tuning out the X I feel like I am doing as bad as she does.
YOU ARE DIVORCED. She is free to do what she wants when she wants. Sleep with whoever and as many men as she can handle with no legal ramifications. Isnt that why you got divorced in the first place?
OK. So another down day feeling lonely about myself and situation. I know X is with OM and it doesn't feel all that great. I started on the DB forums to be able to work it out with X bc I felt that was the best thing to do. So many mixed emotions.
By dating others and tuning out the X I feel like I am doing as bad as she does. She doesn't even care what goes on with D when she is with me. Makes me wonder how much she cares when D is with her.
I would just like to be with someone grown enough to know good choices in life. X is so selfsih and thinks about herself first. That is one of the main reasons we are here IMO.
It just makes me sad to be in this situation I think no matter which way we go if we are not able to make amends. At least that is where I am now.
Whenever I talk to ppl about our situation, it is so pittyful. they think i am crazy to even want to work things out.
Is there anybody that has gone the distance out there that could provide some encouragment and maybe provide some reassurance in "maybe" this is doable. I feel very hopeless...
Sometimes you need to realize when you have to let go & walk away. You are divorced, regardless what you consider inappropriate behavior, she is free to do whatever she wants.
You should start dating to build up your self-confidence & self-esteem, don't worry about pursuing a relationship with anyone new, just go out and meet people and get used to coming out of your shell. It will help you during this process.
Well, I am divorced, but not with current X per se. We never really married. I was previously married and have an older D16 from that Relationship. Now with my "X" we have a D3 and have been split for over a couple of years now. We have been in the courts for visitation and support though. All this mess is much like a divorce. The counselor we did go to said it was as well.
I have been dating some and I kind of figured the X has been as well. It is just tough hearing the words from her mouth. I want to think the aspects going on with the X has a lot to do with the dynamics of where we are today as opposed to who she is, but I do think that is kind of who she is though. scary.
Hate I got myself mixed up in this stuff. I def need to get out and date more. It is tough bc I have my D a good bit of time and then I work a a lot as well. Probably a contributing factor as to why I have had pblms in my relationship as well. Do people get second chances? wow..
