Looks like I might soon be LBS...newcomer here

[brownidmom]

Gnosis,

H has issues with forgiveness. Don't think he has ever forgiven anyone of anything. Cross him and you're gone, just like that.

Hmm... BIM... I'm ashamed to say that your H and I share something in common.

I have a question~ how can you believe in God and not believe in forgiveness? I have never been a grudgeholder and I don't get it. I'd like to think that I don't let people walk all over me, but I also don't let other people take away my joy. How can you not forgive and still be happy? This has always bugged me about H.

I share some similarity with him on the "cross me and you're out" front. I'm only speculating now, but if you dig a little deeper into his past you will probably find: A history of constant and repeated betrayal by friends and family throughout his life. i.e. Every time he's chosen to forgive a second or third time its come back to bite him and caused him more pain.

So... at some point in his life he decided that it's less painful to "mind wipe" someone than to forgive them and be hurt again. I'm talking from personal experience here (I could be wrong) If the above is true, please don't ask how to correct it because I wouldn't know. Maybe a qualified professional could help.

I'm only sharing this with the hope it will give you further insight with him. Trust is his biggest issue. If you can find a way to win it back then I'd say you're halfway through the battle.

Yes, I know that it is and always has been. His father left when he was 5, and while I don't ever bring it up, I know that it affects him to this day.

I will keep praying that he finds GOD. He is a very spiritual person, but not religious. And while I don't think that being religious is required to be able to forgive, I think that knowing GOD instead of just believing helps with that understanding.

BIM