New here, this is my story...

[Gardener]

HelpMe!,

Today he emailed me and said that my W felt like I was using our friendship against her.

So, he didn't say this; he relayed his daughter saying it.

This confuses me because I never brought up our conversations with her and I never said anything bad about her to him. I talked about the changes I was making and he provided reassurance to hang in there.Today he said he needs to be more low key and talk with my W when he returns from vacation next weekend.[

Tell him this. Via e-mail, if possible so he can re-read, digest it and not mis-remember, mis-interpret you.That as he knows, you never discussed/quoted his daughter - and never would - , just shared yourself and relied on his understanding and counseling. Validate his (temporary) need to pull back, the awkward in-the-middle position he must find himself in along with conflicting loyalties to you and her.. Thank him for listening. Appreciate his need to pull back. Tell him you look orward to hearing from him again when he's ready. Tell him you consider him a valued friend and love him. Talk to you when you're ready.
You have not lost a best friend he may be in pain and is (understandably) conflicted and wlking on eggshells, too. He's going on vacation. Good. Needs to think about beloved daughter, SIL, and sitch and clear his head with some "me" time.

He'll be back if he and how you describe your relationship with him are both as good as you describe them.

You can handle it. And have been. Honorably.