She then said if she has to pay more to support the boys that would really put her in a bad spot financially.
She will freak when she finds I filed for spousal support.
Well what kind of "bad spot" did it put you in for her to cheat on you, lie to you, and tear your family and your marriage apart?
What do you think she would have done had the situation been reversed? She would have likely crushed you in every way possible.
Do as you advised me to do CIPA...take care of yourself and your kids...first and foremost.
She should have considered those consequences when she began doing what she did to you & her children. It wasn't an issue then, she required that immediate gratification, she got it but now that she's come off that "sugar high", reality sets in.
The reality is that she will begin to respect you more now that you're standing up for yourself. Don't expect an award or any recognition, in fact, expect her to go ape $hit in the beginning when this all begins and she receives notification of your support filing.
Expect it and since you're expecting, don't respond in any way to reward her bad behavior when she does go ballistic.
I would continue looking for another job while this is happenings, just to show you're being responsible but I would continue the spousal & child support filing.
She wants to leave you & your children, FINE - let her but it will cost her and we'll see if this price is worth it to her.
The idea behind all of this is the WAS is living in fantasy land. Once they're taken down from the cloud tops and back down on solid ground on planet earth from their great trip to planet fruitopia, they will begin to realize that what they are doing has more implications than they originally considered.
Her being in a bad spot financially isn't your concern, tell her that she didn't mind putting your marriage in a bad spot, she didn't mind putting your emotional wellbeing in a "bad spot", she didn't mind breaking apart the family and putting them in a "bad spot". Her financial "bad spot" is the least of the "bad spots" in this mess.
If she brings up the man card and says things like "if you were a real man you wouldn't file for spousal support", you can reply back with "if you were a real woman you wouldn't break up the family you helped create and cheat on the husband who you chose to marry.... 'nuff said!"
Don't let the conversation continue after this, if she pursues you, you tell her "Look, I've made up my mind, this is my decision and now you're going to have to live with that".
And then leave the room.
She has to know that you're willing to stand up to her and stand up for yourself and you're not going to tolerate her BS anymore and make sure you are confident & poised when saying all of this. If you sound like a wimp during all of this she will eat you alive and spit you out.
