Counseling conundrums

[Gardener]

Bunny,
initial thoughts. More later.
-If you don't know when he's coming home nor what mood he'll be in, you'll be in react mode. Not the best time. Pick a quiet, "good mood" time and then do it
-Arrange to have someone come by your house to visit about 60-90 minutes after you expect discussion to begin. You could also use a signal, like front light on -= help. Ring bell, come in
-You are NOT WASing by focusing mostly on his bad side
-The LESS said the better. Your reasons are fine. Examples not needed.
-Damn, you might even have to give police a heads up if you're afraid that way you can call them if needed and give your name/address without going into details (sorry to sound scary/dramatic, here.
When you're ready to do it, please post here and tell us, "OK, here I go"
More later.