Okay, so I am just venting here. Overall lately I have been doing well, happy, living my life and taking care of my kids.
Last night I was just overwhelmingly sad. The man I chose to marry would have never done this to me and his kids. That is in good part why I chose him. I trusted him implicitly. I realize he is not that man now but it is still hard to fathom. I know we all (the LBSs) go through this. I just don't understand how a previously responsible adult can decide they have a "right" to put themselves above everyone else, including their children, that they have the "right" to be selfish. Yes, I have heard those words, he has the "right."
I am sad that my kids have a very sucky role model for a man right now. I worry that my daughter will always have insecurities with men when she is older, that she may be always afraid they will walk away from her, that she will never be "good enough" (since it appears her mom wasn't "good enough" for her dad to stick it out with). I worry that my son will think it is okay to walk when things get tough, to ignore his own kids, etc. I pray all the time to be enough for them.
We both come from families with parents who have been married 40+ years and have been through some tough times together.
I know he is in crisis and is not himself and that hurting people hurt people but just having a pity party right now. Really, I am just venting. I have been well overall lately!
