Feeling better today...not sure why, just am. Nothings changed in regards to my R with H. We are civil to each other and thats about it. I need to stop reading into things though, thats what is making this harder.

Picked up laptop from him today...hes not wearing his ring. frown Whatever I guess, I am still not ready to take mine off.

Scared for him..he has always told me how scared he is that he will end up like his dad, an alcoholic and now I see him heading in that direction. I know I have no control over it, but hard to see him do this to himself. Want to email him and remind him what he has said to me many times, but not sure its good idea.

Want to email and tell his mom too, as she was alcoholic and stopped drinking over 30 years ago. so knows what its like. Maybe she could talk to him? I don't know..guess its no my business anymore?

I have been signing up for these online dating sites. Just to see what is out there. Most them you can do anything when you find someone compatible unless you pay so much, which is crap, but maybe its a way of keeping me away from them. Just so looking for a friend to talk to I guess. Someone to maybe make me feel like "im worth it" again and help build up my self esteem. Probably need to do that work on my own, but sure would feel great to have someone give ME some attention for once...

Anyhow..off to get some work done..hopefully keep my mind off of other crap.