Move over... I 'm moving back......

[sandycay]

uughhh weekends are lonely! As are the early evenings when kids are busy and I have a little down time.

H surfaced for a soccer game on Sat. but other than that he has been MIA... no contact with the kids or me short of answering a text initiated by my kids.... so much for him "not gonna stiff arm the kids are you this time".

So, I know he doesn't do "alone", so I know there is someone else. My gut has never been wrong. I really don't see his reason for lying as everyone assumes it too. Who does he think he's kidding. At this point, it's like water off a ducks back. It's just immature and ridiculous... and to think he hangs his hat on he wasn't respected and look at all the respect he has been showing his family.... so sad for him.

He was gone week before last and never contacted the kids either. Guess I better start a journal of documentation. I am bummed for my kids, but for me it really helps when I don't have to see him or talk to him. Seeing him yesterday played with mind a little bit but not nearly as much as it used to.

I am excited for the future. I am sad for my past and for my children, but I know it will be ok eventually. I just hate having to go thru all these emotions again, but I am able to process them much more rationally than before and there is no despair and false hopes.

Just journaling!

Plus I saw 2012 last night.... that messed me up too. To much airplane (h is pilot) stuff and heavy duty stuff.. for an action movie.... it really made me overanalyze and feel all weepy. Oh well!

Today church with my kids and then the looooong afternoon.


Still undecided on what to do for Thanksgiving. My C said I should make the decision on whether or not to invite H, not leave it up to the kids. I really don't want to have him here as it would be weird and awkward...but It would be weird for the 3 of us to sit around a big meal. Suggestions anyone?