Finally sent email to H asking him to make time for us to discuss D terms. Asked him what his intentions were, if there was anything I could do to move the process along, and asked that he give this some priority over work. Had written it and sat on it for 2 weeks before sending, so I hope I don't regret my words.

He replied almost immediately that he doesn't foresee any disagreements on the terms, something about filing (which I didn't understand), and that he needs to have the funds together first to pay the legal fees (BS - money is rarely a problem for him).

Then, shortly after, he calls me for no apparent reason and we had a friendly chat for awhile without ever bringing up subject of D or our email exchange. He had the kids that night and I had said I would pick them up in the morning. He usually would just bring them down to the car. But this time, he told me to go up to his apt. FIRST TIME he's ever invited me to see his place.

So when I went to get them, I went up. It was strange from the moment he opened the door. I didn't recognize him. I walked in to the foyer area, but that was it. S was eating something I brought for him, and H never invited me in further. And honestly, I was so uncomfortable there, I didn't have any interest in going in further. From what I saw, the place had all new furniture but it wasn't homey at all. More like a temporary home - or a furnished apartment you'd rent that's made to look like a home. Not only that, it was far from the bachelor pad I expected and lacked personality. Just by looking at it, you would know nothing about the owner - except that maybe he had no kids.

H and I stood pretty much silently while S finished eating. It was awkward and for some reason made me feel that I had done the right thing by sending the email. I felt bad for H - he really seemed sad (in the pathetic sense of the word) and lost and lonely, especially surrounded by his lifeless apartment.

For the 2nd weekend in a row, he sent the kids home with video games/gadgets he let them pick out while shopping. He had invited me to have lunch with them the day before, but he asked me while he was on the way to pick them up and I wasn't ready, or in the mood, so declined.

Overall, interactions have been weird and inconsistent with us. My feeling is that he is having second thoughts but isn't certain and is too consumed by guilt to do anything about it. Occasionally, he'll be really friendly and seem like his old self, then right after, he tends to run back in to the tunnel. I don't know.

I replied to his last email - agreed that there should not be any disputes, explained that legal fees do not have to be costly if we can agree to terms first, asked him to clarify what he said about filing, asked if that was still his intention or if he'd like me to do it, said I'd like to let his mom know about the D (he didn't want her to know), and again let him know when I'd be able to meet.

Sorry this is long and all over the place - just like my thoughts are right now.