I do understand he has to work it out for himself on his timeframe, as much as I am one of lifes fixers. Where I am, divorce can occur 12 months after separation, I guess I was trying to get a feel for how he might be placed around then. I know he is not happy now, and he has shown me through small windows that he feels terrible about what he is doing. I will be able to let him go (with back slides of course), but it hurts that he never gave us a chance to right it, even though I understand he is not in a position to do so right now.
I am ready to move my life in new directions, and I see big periods of change in my life as big opportunities for me too. It has not been an easy week, and I think I have used up all my tears for this month already, but I have much to keep me busy at the moment now, so that will help.
I have taken my toddlers to a grown up cafe for breakfast this morning (a treat for them), and we hit the playgrounds on the way home. We had a picnic in the living room for lunch and spent the afternoon with toys from the rainy day cupboard, although I have been distracted. Thankfully H has travelled a lot for work so we are all used to routines when he is not around.
I am exercising a few times a week, and have set a goal to gate crash as many xmas parties as I can, as well as identified two new sports clubs we can all go to. I am aware I am actually very fortunate compared to many others, and are thankful that my sitch is not worse.
