I think you're right. But how else does one fill up their own love tank/bank? I have struggled with this question. If my W can't/won't meet my needs right now, what do I do to fulfill myself other than do things that bring me happiness? And I don't mean sex. I know some would suggest dating, but that's not me. Not while I'm M'd.
So filling my own tank/bank means a lot of time with the kids (which I LOVE) - they love me and aren't afraid to express that. Isn't it nice that there aren't books on walkaway children? If W were here, she would probably say, "Well, GIMA, I love you as a person." Am I the only one here with whom this rings hollow? What a nice way to say I DON'T love you, but if you were stranded on the side of the road, I might stop to help out.
I am not angry as I write this post. I'm just making an observation and expressing what I think/feel about it.
So taking care of my own needs also means staying busy with things that bring me joy - playing golf, reading, exercising, cooking.
I think it's time I re-read "His Needs, Her Needs."
