Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

I saw this from Snodderly on another thread. I copied and pasted it into my thread so I can read and reread it when I got down.

"It all depends upon him and his issues. It could be another year or so, since he's suggesting the separation and/or divorce. Each case is different, but my personal thoughts are another year or so after the ink has dried on the documents.

The most important thing you have to remember is this, you cannot put all of your focus on the stages or time frames. Each individual person is different and there is no guarantee that he'll ever face all of his issues and deal w/them. It's important to accept him for the person he is today and know that you had the best years of his life w/him. If an ow is in the picture, she's getting second best right now.

He may even come across as being a happy camper, but the bottom line is this...who can be that happy leaving your spouse and children behind? What type of person can look at themselves in the mirror all of the time and not feel some guilt about what he/she's done? The darkness of night is when it all comes home to roost for there is nothing to keep his mind busy during that time.

SR, you cannot fix him or what he's going through. All you can do is work on yourself, be the best parent you can be, for you are going to have to be very strong in the days to come for your children. Yes, you will fall, and yes, we will be there to pick you up. Do not be afraid to cry for those times that it becomes unbearable or for the mistakes that you make along the way. Those moments will make you stronger once you can manage to let them go a bit and you will learn from them.

It's his journey...let him go. Your journey will be a different one, one that is full of awareness, self discovery, and yes, learning to live one minute at a time. At the end of your journey, you will discover that God and life do have a way of turning things around.

Make time today to spend w/your toddlers and do something new and different. It's time to start new traditions. One thing, please take care of yourself along the way."