"Really, I have to ask. What is your purpose in posting to me? Is it to call me out and expose the fact that I am not the end all be all, which I don't claim to be and never have by a long shot? Or is it that you are trying to push me to be better?"
It is to do neither. We've all seen what happens both times when you're pushed and when you're not. I was merely stating fact. You haven't detached. Citygirl explained it quite elegantly.
Detachment isn't about being either all in or all out. If you looked back at your statements on "standing" you will see that for yourself. It's like you're telling people your POV which didn't seem like you fully understood yourself.
"But I will say this. The only way for me to achieve detachment really is by bringing this to a close and ending it and walking away."
Right here is where you show how little you understand about detachment. Even if you were D'd, if your feelings are still there, you will only change the feelings of hopelessness to feelings of resentment and eventual hatred. And that's something your daughters don't need.
You've shown time and time again that you have a problem with trying to keep your emotions in check. Divorce isn't going to change that. It will only make it worse. Detach and you will get better. You will FEEL better. Detachment means that you will feel the same about your W whether you are D'd from her or not. It's an acceptance of how things are but it is your choice to decide how they will be.
You still haven't reached that "a-ha" moment about what detachment is.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
