In shock...

[Lll54]

I guarantee that if your H comes back three years down the road your only response will be " You are about 2 years too late buddy, sorry bout your luck " And you will walk away with a smile on your face.

[motherof3]

and possibly a new man on your arm.

[Lll54]

AMEN!

[praying_in_GA]

Thanks ladies.....I would love to be able to do that to him.

I still love him, but eventually that too will fade.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

He might come back to me later....maybe years from now....I just don't see it happening. I have to let this go for my sanity and my emotional health.

Or even 2-6 months from now.

It's far from over, PiGA. Just treat him civilly, and with grace (and as much forgiveness as you can genuinely mean), and it will go a long way toward leaving your heart and your door open to him in the future, should he ever choose to get his act together.

It also helps to think of him as an ADDICT, which of course, he is.

Other than that, all you can do it move on with your own life, which is pretty much what DB is to begin with anyway, ya know??

Hope you are feeling a brighter outlook this morning,

Puppy

[praying_in_GA]

Well, I took my rings off. I have also taken down all but one wedding picture. The one I left up was our first kiss as man and wife. I have a Rosary hanging over it. I am just not ready for that one yet. I feel like God is my only hope right now. I can feel the depression setting in.

Sorry to wallow...I know you all don't want to hear it. I will get over it eventually. Time to GAL, distance, and love my kids.....all in the name of not wallowing.

I will check back periodically. For right now though, I don't see my actions as saving my marriage.

Thank you to everyone who tried to help me. I am sorry I was so obstinate and blind. I am still praying that God opens his eyes and mine.

[Kettricken]

I'm a big fan of some wallowing, personally. You have been shocked and hurt to your core; those emotions are perfectly valid and have to go *somewhere*. Allow yourself time each day to experience your pain (when/where it won't impact on your children) for as long as you need. Don't forget to pour your heart out to God and remember His love. Then you'll be in a good place to GAL and love your kids.

[praying_in_GA]

Well, I am at the birthday party for his side of the family. I love him so much. This is harder than I thought.

[brownidmom]

I feel like God is my only hope right now. I can feel the depression setting in.

Yes, GOD is hope, but you have to do what you know to do. Be graceful, take the high road, PRAY, take care of yourself and your kids. If you do all these things, you will start to feel stronger and you will get stronger. Decisions are always best when made from a place of strength.

Sorry to wallow...I know you all don't want to hear it. I will get over it eventually. Time to GAL, distance, and love my kids.....all in the name of not wallowing.

I have wallowed, we all have at one time or another. I think it is a natural part of this processing. Losing your marriage requires grieving in order to heal, just like the death of a loved one. Just be sure to set a limit, like the number of days you will allow yourself to wallow. Go dark during that time with everyone, do only for yourself and your kids during this time. Then, once you wake up the day after your limit is up, be thankful for what you have and do whatcha gotta do to move forward!

I will check back periodically. For right now though, I don't see my actions as saving my marriage.

That's ok, while we all came here to save our marriages, we have all learned that we cannot do that unless we first save ourselves. Work on that for now.

Thank you to everyone who tried to help me. I am sorry I was so obstinate and blind. I am still praying that God opens his eyes and mine.

If you keep praying, GOD will open your eyes. I want to share something that a woman said to me a couple of days ago. She counsels women at her church and she told me, "You cannot be pitiful and powerful at the same time." So, PiGA, choose to be powerful.

I'll be praying for you.

bim

[Gardener]

piGA,
Do come back and stay in touch. This is a looong process regardless of outcome.

And wallowing? More than once, I've qualified for the Wallowing Like A Pig In Slop Award!