Coping with Bi-Polar WAW

[CountingCrows]

Thanks BR, S13 and PDT for the advice, sentiments (and hugs). I had fully intended to post the letter this afternoon, thinking I had more time. When she called before she got off work, it really threw me off. Figured I still had several hours before she came over. As you can tell, I hadn't even had a chance to proofread the letter before I read it to her. I was stepping out of the shower, getting ready to come back to it when she called. Looking back, I should have just held off until I could run it past all of you. Guarantee I'll do that next time.

Yeah, the discussion swing regarding custody of our son definitely disarmed me. I had not prepared to discuss any of that at this time. I'm not trying to keep her from seeing s7. In fact, I'm all for her wanting to spend more quality time with him, as he's lacked that most of his life. It wasn't at all the point of what I was telling her. The letter was intended to address two things: first and foremost that OM had to be out of her life, and second, under these circumstances, I will not continue to finance her lifestyle as I had been since she moved out.

I met W this afternoon at neutral location without s7 to get her weekly "allowance" to her, and have her sign the card to completely remove her name from my account (was only able to disable the Debit card Friday...bluffed the rest to keep her from thinking she could do anything else with account). Also made her sign a sheet acknowledging the receipt of the cash, since I didn't do it by check this time. CYA-mode, I guess. She asked again about seeing s7 tomorrow. I told her that I'd bring him over at 1pm and he could stay until 6pm. She seemed pleased with that and said "That sounds fair". W asked if I was going to change the locks on the house, and said yes, probably tonight. Didn't want her over there anymore without me being there. She said she would have to get a storage unit and get her furniture out of the house, and I told her that "there is no rush. I'm not going to destroy it, throw it out of the house, sell it or anything". I just don't want her coming over while I'm at work and ransacking the place like my previous wife did while I was on a business trip, when I came back to a empty house. Told her I was going to terminate her "normal" cellphone, and she asked if I could give her through the weekend to call her family and get her contacts backed up. I agreed to wait until the beginning of the week. She's going to freak when she looks at her bank account and realizes that all the texts back/forth with OM has been costing her 15 cents a txt for over a week and her "secret phone" account has been bumping her acct by $11 almost daily to keep up with it. I didn't mention it, as I think it's appropriate for her to find that out herself.

Finally made it over to the bookstore tonight with s7 and picked up DB, DR and another called "Getting Back Together" that seemed geared towards separated couples heading fast towards the attys. Got a lot of reading/learning to do. Should have done it a week ago as soon as I discovered this forum.