Keep Your Hands Offa My Mojo

[newmama]

Thank you, thank you SmileysPerson for detailing your experience in each of the three Phases of DBing. Now I am wondering if I should cancel my DB phone session on Monday...except it could help me "define my path and walk it."

These observations of yours especially resonated with me--
1) we need to be honest about the quality of our marriage that we're trying to save--are we seeing the relationship with rose colored glasses?

2) We all will survive if we D and we might even become happy in a new relationship!

3)If we want to reconcile, we need to be strong enough and prepared to "eat plates of sh*t," especially if others disagree with our decision and/or we bashed our spouse too much.

4)detaching works to get your spouse back but detaching while still caring is better for working on piecing the marriage together than truly detaching with a new relationship

and THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT:
We don't truly know why the WAS come back.We must give up wanting to control them.