Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Gardener]

After the bomb I was a fearful, angry, stressed, controlling, clingy mess.

DBing gives you the tools to get over it, but in many ways I think it also delayed my getting to acceptance. I hung on to the tools far to long as a way of controlling my sitch I "if I only do this hard enough and long enough then I can turn her around". "If I can only get her to counseling, then the C will turn her around". "If she would only go to Retro then they would get her to turn around", etc. All about control.

I think the DBing stopped me from pushing my w out the door, but once her flight stalled, so did my detachment.

I am only now, a year later, STARTING to really let go.

Yep. Bingo. Ditto. Me, too What he said.