1. Mail as I said before. Mark it return to sender. 2. No letter. You are a strong independent woman.
Why did he go looking for an affair. Maybe he is week ? Maybe he wanted out ? Maybe it found him ? Maybe he feels entitled to the wants of two woman? Maybe he has no idea what happened and has no clue what to do? Who cares ? We cannot read his mind. Nor can you.
As to fighting an affair.
1. Exposure. 2. Cut off and seperate finances. 3. Remove cheater from the home. 4. Cut off all Emotional Needs.
Upset is what you should be. But Upset does not mean mope and cry and beg and suffer. Upset means you standup. You wipe the tears from your eyes and you get to work. You may bend but you do not break. You admit to yourself your fears and failures. You face them. You improve yourself. You commit to yourself.
Avermont. You are light years ahead already. Your strong independence will really help you through these times. You have already set up the finances. You have already removed him from mentally abusing you with the affair on a daily basis.
I do not know what you have done with exposure. Have you exposed to close family? Maybe a few close friends?
You should walk with your head high. Anyone asks you what is going on. You say. That when you love someone you let them go free to experience their mistakes. You leave it at that. You then follow it up with one of your 180's
Its a small town. Use this to your advantage. He is bringing her around to push it in your face.
You stated you had problems with intimacy and you were very busy all the time.
So slow down now. Go order some books on the 5 love languages and others about how to open up with intimacy. Go out to the coffee shop, book store , library and read them. And treat yourself to an hour of improving yourself and have a nice tea or coffee.
There you go GAL and 180 at the same time.
Next you sign up and take yoga and pilates. You work on your mind and body. Become intimate with yourself. Learn you body again. Become proud of it.
Another GAL and a 180 at the same time.
I know that I would notice if the woman I spent 23 years with started doing these things. I would wonder what all that streching would be like in bed. I am a guy.
Every woman I have had a relationship with I was physically attracted to. And there are just some things that add an extra level of attraction. The knowledge of what she is physically like + the imagination what its like now. Its a very powerful combination. Add your 180's to this. And yea ..... His loss right.
Avermont. I think you already have the wisdom. Your now just gaining the knowledge to go with that wisdom.
You are going to benifit yourself very much over the next few months.
Its going to be scary. But it will be worth it. Your worth it.
Now you go start offering your advice to some of the ladies here who need to learn how to be indenpendent. Lend them your strength.
