Changing Man

[Gardener]

Melencholy No, pleasant, bittersweet memory journaling.

STBXW is out of old apartment and into the new. She called me up this morning to see if I wanted to go get a piece of furniture that I've had since I was a kid. If so, she'd leave door unlocked at old apartment.

I went and got it. Looked at the room where we last made love, where we last truly held each other months ago. Looked at the room where we last kissed and embraced (also months ago) And it felt kinda good.

Then I looked at the living room. Mr. & Mrs. G were always taking dance lessons (ballroom, swing -my favorite- salsa, etc.). Gardenerman would often just switch on stereo or i-pod at home and waltz the Mrs. away on the spur of the moment.

I did that - once - in her apartment. Turned on her i-pod, took her in my arms and - I kid you not - "Maybe" by Janis Joplin came on. Our last, teary dance of our married life:

Maybe

Oh if I could pray and I try, dear,
You might come back home, home to me.

Maybe
Whoa, if I could ever hold your little hand
Oh you might understand.
Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, yeah.

Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe dear
I guess I might have done something wrong,
Honey I’d be glad to admit it.
Oh, come on home to me!
Honey maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe yeah.

Well I know that it just doesn’t ever seem to matter, baby,
Oh honey, when I go out or what I’m trying to do,
Can’t you see I’m still left here
And I’m holding on in needing you.

Please, please, please, please,
Oh won’t you reconsider babe.
Now come on, I said come back,
Won’t you come back to me!

Maybe dear, oh maybe, maybe, maybe,
Let me help you show me how.
Honey, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe,
Maybe, maybe, maybe, yeah,
Maybe, maybe, maybe, yeah.
Ooh!

A good, poignant last dance memory