Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Okay so he came and picked him up, and asked me if I thought he should take the jumper or the bouncer. I just said either would be fine but I usually take the bouncer. He took neither.

While they were gone I went for a walk to eat breakfast, dusted the whole house, cleaned the kitchen, folded and put away laundry, took a nice long shower and did my hair and makeup.

When they got back, I tried not to appear as if I was eagerly waiting (ALTHOUGH I WAS) and casually walked up to see my baby boy. WH asked if it was all right if he hung out a little longer so he could see his boy a little more. I said sure, but we were going to visit my g-ma at 1 since the calendar visit only said 7-11...I made other plans. (I lied--I do want to go to my g-ma's but we'll see if she is available)

The first thing I did was change his outfit because, sure enough, it smelled like HER. (I know her perfume from last summer when we would hang out with her). I lied and said that I had an outfit in mind for my g-ma so that was why I was changing it. (I am also going to wash the blanket he took to use as well!)

So then, WH is Mr. Chatty all of a sudden, in such a good mood, wanting to tell me how things went!!! What an f-ing idiot! I think he saw that I wasn't all bright smiles at first and asked if I was okay. I said yes. Luckily he only told me how the car ride went and said he had some tummy time and was in a good mood.
I didn't want to know a single thing of course--I can't believe him! How could he not realize this? I had originally pictured taking my boy when he dropped him off, and then saying "goodbye, see you tomorrow!" But I guess he wanted to hang out.

Well, I am trying to not come across as bothered or depressed by this whole f-ed up situation so I miraculously turned on my good mood, made conversation and asked him if he wanted to watch V that I had recorded. So he held our baby boy and we watched the show. I started nursing our boy and then he left.

He noticed the house was clean and complimented me on it.
I wonder when he'll notice that I lost weight (I've lost a total of 30 lbs so far)

Boy I am curious about the phone counseling session on Monday--I wonder what they will tell me to do different! I am trying to do as described in Divorce Remedy.

Oh, and no D talk again.I guess that would be really cold if he brought it up today.