Venting here is important. It helps keep you from venting in real life at the wrong time, and I think it really helps me a lot.
What you're going through IS hard, and there's no weakness in feeling how hard it is. It's a lousy way to live. Just do the best you can and remember that nothing is forever. Nothing. Just like the good times didn't last forever, this current misery can't last forever either. You will come out the other side in some way. Right now, you're uncertain whether you'll come out the other side in your marriage or alone, and that's what makes it so miserable, but you are moving toward an end to this misery one way or another.
If this makes you feel worse instead of better, ignore it. It's just the ramblings of some well-meaning stranger on the internet anyway.
I don't know that I have good advice for you, but since others are being so quiet, I'll take a shot:
1. If you want to kiss her, I say kiss her until she says she doesn't want you to do it. Then stop completely.
2. If you get to the point where you're detaching, you're going to have to stop saying things like this. For now, if you really believe you should be trying to save the marriage, I don't think it hurts as long as you mean it.
3. This would be a good place to start experimenting with detaching. It does sound like your phone contact is going in only one direction. Let her call you. Limit your calls to when you need to contact her about something immediately important, like who's going to pick up your son. Don't call just to say hello or see how she's doing. If you have to, every time you think about calling her, call someone else. Let her begin to get a feeling for what it's like without you. This is not done out of revenge, but because she's thinking of removing you from her life and she may not be thinking clearly about what that's really going to be like. She's probably imagining a less-than-realistic kind of charmed life where she reaches her full potential as a kinesthesiology entrepeneur and all the things she doesn't like about her life get solved somehow. Let's face it, if getting divorced made all that happen, maybe she'd be right to do it, and unless you let her see life without you at least a little, she won't find out what it's really like until she's gone too far to come back.
4. This one isn't really a question . . . but I think the question you're asking is whether what she's saying makes sense. It doesn't, but that's because she's confused, too. She sounds like she may be having a little mid-life crisis action happening. If you think it's weird and unfair, you're probably right. But that's the way it is. You can't make the choice for her, so you have to set about the business of making your choice. Do you want to save the marriage, or do you want out? If you want to save it, you are going to have to do the things you can control and let the rest fall where it falls.
Have you read the books on Divorce Busting? If not, I recommend it. I haven't read them myself; I read The Sex-Starved Marriage because that was my issue. My wife and I knew without a doubt that we wanted to be married to each other if we could make it work, and truthfully, if I could have resigned myself to a sexless marriage and just kept getting along, I probably wouldn't even have read the book or come here. I'm just parroting the divorce busting advice I've read here; I'm so far from being an expert that I can't see it from here, so don't take my advice as anything but free advice.
