For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

Hi bluerain,
I was actually texting my sister (I think) when my H acted curious about it.

I think maybe my GAL does get his attention (at least for a minute). But, sometimes I feel like he doesn't even notice or care, because he never says anything about it - he really doesn't ask where I'm going, what I'm doing, who I'll be with and that sort of thing. I have to keep in mind 2 things - 1. It's not about him, it's about me. 2. Just bc he doesn't verbalize anything, doesn't mean he doesn't notice.

I totally want to create the illusion (and today it's not really an illusion, it's how I really feel) that I want nothing further to do with him.

I am committed to not sharing him. The reason I stuck around so long (well, there are many reasons) - but really, I am here bc I have never been able to confirm a PA between them. Yes, I have proof of all the phone calls and now I know her name and that they email (since she's in his contacts). But, that's all I really know. Of course, I have big assumptions.

I don't know how to go about confirming a PA and finding out if OW is married. If I can find out those 2 things, boundaries will be set and I will absolutely tell him I will NOT live in an open marriage - hell no. I'm trying to gather evidence like others suggest and then approach H. But, I'm tired of sitting around and not having the info that I need. It's like I'm just sitting here letting it happen and that eats away at me.

I'm so done with living like this and his bs.

Gotta run for now, little one needs breakfast. : )