Not sure what to do

[bluerain]

Well, I hope that her fantasy works out well for her, but I can tell you with some certainty that it wont. If she chooses to walk away from this M, maybe get remarried someday and then repeat the same exact pattern that she went through with you. The past will repeat itself. And the same things that she never dealt with with you, will rear their ugly heads again.

They do a really, really good job of convincing themselves that this is what they need. Reality will set in, it will be interesting for her to see what a D process is really like.

So dont buy her lines so easily.

I think that you should let her have her independance. Financially, with housing, all of it, dont be there for her, let her see what its like to not be your W. Give her exactly what she wants.

They say these things to your parents and their friends- "He wont open up to me," "I just need to hear it from him" And blah, blah, blah, so that they dont have to look like the bad guy. Notice how it was all about what YOU did or didnt do?

I also think that you need to focus on being happy with you, the same as she does, and then you dont have to have some illusion that you will "make" her happy, or she you.