It's too hard sometimes

[Gardener]

[quote=Mark Evolving]And, ever the one to worry about how I'm being interpreted, I followed up w/:

The previous email will likely set you off again and convince you I'm trying to make you miserable. this is you mind reading, read up on cognitive dissonance I can deal with DD13's reaction to what I said on my own. Instead of telling me what I did wrong, your wife is a adult and can choose to tell you whatevr she wants, this is a controlling statement by you in the future pretend you think I'm a human being once again you are assuming what she thinks, very condesending and controlling and tell me her reaction and I can deal with that on my own. Just say this, I can deal with it myself My conversation was with her, not you.

By no contact, I meant no phone contact. I had planned a period of no phoning, but I didn't make that clear. so there is a communicaion problem Simply, I don't want to hear your voice. how do you think that sounded to her? Take that personally if you want now you are telling her what to do, no reason to say this, she can take it however she wants , but I am making progress detaching and it is difficult to hear you speak. Don't tell her show her A simple solution is to speak with the girls in a separate room from you.

I don't want to upset the girls, but I'm not going to be lectured. but you lecture her Tell me how DD13 or DD10 is feeling or even how you are feeling and I will respond appropriately. Why would she because you mind read - you tell her what she is thinking and feeling I can be sympathetic to your situation, but I'm done with the aggression. Your actions speak otherwise Period. The last email and this one weren't intended to be aggressive, just assertive. you missed the mark

Also, doesn't it concern you that DD13 is sick so often? that's a passive-agresive comment

DD13 has missed a fair amount of school due to "illness." I think a lot of it is due to the sitch. And W's general laziness of late, in that she would rather DDs stay home than fight about it if they claim to be ill. since you know everything your wife thinks then why does she need to respond

As usual, Coach is right. Color me embarrassed (and educated once again).