hoping for better times to come

[pearlharbr]

When your gut feeling tells you to snoop for answers... is there usually something there?

Yes. Trust your gut. When the bomb was dropped on me I asked if there was someone else because I had a specific person in mind. No, there's no one else. Is it OW? No, we're just friends. I felt guilty for accusing him and wrote a letter saying so. Then I went away for the weekend and he spent the entire time with OW.

My current situation has similarities to the last time we broke up in 2001. We were living together, I left and was fed up. He was unemployed, gamed all the time, smoking pot, unmotivated, no physical contact. He cleaned up, got a job, and pursued me hard.

So in 2001 you left him because he wasn't good enough for you. It worked. He cleaned up his act and got you back. This time around you're walking on eggshells and accepting all of his excuses and crappy behavior. How is it working?

You lived through this before and you'll live through this again. I don't say that to minimize your pain, rather to remind you that you are a strong resourceful woman.