I did call her out on the sleeping around talk this weekend. I was livid. I told her that she needed to pack her things and leave. Well as bull headed as she is she said she pays the bills too and that this is her house and she wasn't leaving. Things got ugly. And yes I know she doesn't respect me... that is way too obvious by now... I am at a loss at what to do, she isn't budging...
So!
My response would have been this: "So you think you can openly disrespect me, sleep around, have affairs and still live in our home? You think you can sell your wedding rings and still live in our home? You expect me to honor a living arrangement with you because you pay some bills when you can't honor our marriage? So you think I have to listen to you but you won't listen to me? I'm not controlling you, the door is open, You are free to leave, spend time with the other man, go have an affair, sleep with him, I don't care what you do with him but know this, you aren't coming back - this isn't a hotel and I don't want you as a roommate. The minute you walk out the door to go visit that other man is the minute your stuff will be thrown in boxes and placed in the front yard. As for you paying the bills, I'm glad you know how to do that, you'll be doing more of that when you move into your new place. Think I'm bluffing? Well I guess you don't know me as well as you thought you did..."
And then smile and then pull out all the cardboard boxes and garbage bags you've purchased for this event. If she does go out to see the other guy, I think you have some work to do but it's ok, it's quite therapeutic. I had this argument with my wife several times before I had reached my limit, enough was enough! When I did this to my wife, it was incredible, the feeling was indescribably delicious, the freedom, the exhilaration, it was all surreal and incredible. She never thought I would do it and when I did it, she was speechless.
She can't respect you until you give her a reason to.
I know this is hard on you because it's not in your nature, you're used to being walked on and being treated like a doormat. She can't walk all over you when you start standing up for yourself and showing her you mean business - subconsciously regardless if she admits it or not, she wants a man who is going to stand up to her and stop putting up with her bullshit. She's cake eating and you are her bullshit collector, not a fun job, time for a career change, I have faith in you - just do it.
